As You Wish - The Problem of The Princess Bride

"As you wish" was all he ever said to her. That day, she was amazed to discover that when he was saying "As you wish", what he meant was, "I love you." And even more amazing was the day she realized she truly loved him back.

It's a touching moment. It's the set up to a "kissing book." It's filled with lingering glances, eyes "like the sea after a storm" and hair dancing in the wind. It's also a lie.

"As you wish" translating to "I love you" is a beautiful sentiment. Why would we want our lover to seek anything but our own happiness? If our lover seeks our happiness and we seek theirs, all bases are covered. We have happiness ensured.

That, and who doesn't love to be told that things will be "as you wish"? Try as we might to be otherwise, we're all a little egotistical, a little proud. We like that others should serve us, we like that our will should be the determining factor.

But for our will to be the determining factor is not love. If I willed something that was bad for myself, your condoning of my will would not be love. Love does not permit the person's wishes, but what is best for the person. This doctrine necessitates the advent of tough love, that all too painful treatment that goes against a person's wishes but is what the other perceives to be truly best for them.

Tough love keeps a person from killing themselves when it's what they want. Tough love reprimands a person for doing something damaging to their body or soul. Tough love is not "as you wish," but is "as God wishes."

This is exactly what can be seen in the Garden of Gesthemane, on the night Jesus is arrested. With the foreknowledge due the Son of God, Jesus knows that his death is coming, and not in a pleasant manner. In Luke 22:42, Jesus prays that the cup, the cup that holds his death, will be taken from him. "Yet," he adds, "not my will, but thine be done." This is true love. True love bows to true goodness, and that is God.

In loving people, we cannot want what they wish. This will lead to a subjective standard of goodness, a goodness that changes with each person we try to love. While it is true that different people feel the reception of love in different ways, there must be an objective standard in order for identification to be possible at all. God is this root of objective goodness, a goodness outside of the earth and its influences that cannot be tainted, changed, or worn out.

So the next time you want to say "I love you," don't say "As you wish."

Say "As God wishes."